I’ve been wanting to write again after that storm that I conquered…but time was doing me favor of keeping so damn busy the past few weeks that I just can’t find the time and inspiration to just sit and face my computer and just write….
Precisely the reason why I don’t want to do this for a living dear friends, I’ll starve to death because there are more times that I just don’t feel like writing, like no matter how long I stare at my screen no words just won’t come out.
The past few weeks has been an experience for me, some totally new and some, well still new hehehe…
It seems like for the first time in years, I am actually living my life… less the guilt of not being able to go home early and just sit there and watch those telenovelas that I’ve become addicted to eversince, well, ever since I guess, was that “maria clara” started. And after which a new telenovela comes out and I get hook.
I’ve conquered my fear of driving home alone late at night after going out with friends… it was fun. I was having fun and that’s what mattered that time. My sisters are laughing at me, they said I’m such a late bloomer. Well, so what, this are the things I never got the chance to do and enjoy on my younger days….but as we all say, everything happens for a reason, perhaps, God willed me to enjoy all of this just now because He knew im more responsible now and I already now what I am doing. I should, heck, im 27 years old!
You know, there are so many thoughts going over my head right now and I can’t pin point just which I want to write down and which I want to talk about first…and I’m pretty sure, by the end of this whatever, I wouldn’t be able to convey everything…im just not good at that, expressing myself well…maybe that’s the reason why I am often misunderstood…hehehe my fault.
So just bear with me whoever you are reading this post right now… you are reading because you are curious of what drama I could possibly write again… or what heartbreaking story I have to tell again… well, just be glad to know that I am trying to shy away from writing such depressing thoughts this time around.
I want to write happy thoughts. Happy events. Just plain, simple and happy…this is a come what may post so once again bear with me. Im just jotting down whatever comes to my mind, no matter if it makes sense or not.
Interestingly, I met a lot of people the past few days, weeks actually that I spent going out. People from all walks of life..people who’s thoughts and emotions and ideas matter. It’s nice to have good conversation and a couple of meaningless, useless talks, that we do just to let time pass. But I was having fun, I was enjoying each and everyone’s company. I find myself coming out of my shell and just enjoying the moment, actually living the moment. Ad I’m just glad I went out to meet those people…its amazing actually.
I did a couple of things that I never thought id be capable of doing. My really good friends, im sure they would know what this is all about… *wink* *wink * * wink * but, im sorry to say. I did it and it was a damn good feeling! Ha ha ha! Joice, impluwensya mo lahat ito ha ha ha!!!
Then, just when I thought everything was going smoothly and perfectly fine with my life…someone just can’t seem to accept that fact. You know that I am happy and well…news flash kids, IM OKAY. IM FINE AND I’VE MOVED ON…please do so too. Both of you. Stop asking about me and of what I think of you and your people… because believe it or not, we don’t talk about you. We’ve got better things to talk about than you and whoever. PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE. I am so much better now and glad that you are out of my life. I have finally seen the light and sorry, there’s just no point of making you my friend now or ever. So let me be. You’ve made your choice and so have i. Let the people be and let them do what they want with their lives, stop minding everybody’s lives. You’re pathetic.
Then, there are a couple of people that I admire now…for their courage, for their fighting spirits, for their determination, for their success and still drive for it. I admire then for what they have achieved and still getting now. I admire them period. No explanation needed. Hehe
Then there are those that are so annoyingly happy (kidding!) with their lives right now. Those who’s found completeness in their lives..and its so annoying to see them glowing and happy and giddy and all that talking about their life… ha ha ha… I am happy for you guys believe it or not. I envy you for having the family, the life, the love, the joy and completeness you are having now… kakainggit…but I am happy for you, for being so blessed and all. Just don’t mess around okay?
Okay I am so not making sense anymore. Basta, bottomline is..i am happy…I sincerely am. Maybe not complete but happy…yes, there still is a part of me that feels empty every once in a while, but you know, when I think about it, perhaps this is just what I need right now… me time… me time to discover and know and appreciate me for a change. I’ve always been thinking bout other people. What I can do to make them happy, what I can do to make them feel complete. What I can do for them to find that peace of mind…and so many what can I do for them lines…this time, not being selfish and all, but im starting to pamper myself, im starting to love myself more than ever. Im starting to appreciate myself now… and it’s a wonderful feeling…surely is…
I’m changing my life, im now doing things I don’t normally do, it’s not a bad thing though, not “those” kind of things. But things I’ve set aside for so long, delaying doing them and pretending I still have all the time in the world. I grew up. And I realized that life is indeed short. One has to make the most out of it. And that’s what I intend to do now….
Cheers! Cheers! Cheers!
